you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
