rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize