Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
