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He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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