That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
