Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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