I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
