Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
