the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
