She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
