my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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