hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
