8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
