things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My dick has a subreddit
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
