Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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