I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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