Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
