her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
jump out the window naked night went bad
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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