i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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