He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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