Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
