I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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