Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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