i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
