remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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