I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
