Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
