I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
