I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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