just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
