Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
