pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
