I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
