hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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