just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm like, not good at living.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
