the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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