I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
