can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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