sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
