He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
