brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
