Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
