I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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