I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
