It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
