Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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