hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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