Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
