With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
