Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i would punch a child for taco bell
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
